Without Regret

Without Regret

Emptiness, the feeling of being alone in a crowd, the knowledge of a missing piece.  The multitude of emotions whether actual or only perceived that are associated with loss, being felt simultaneously in a tumultuous cacophony of indistinguishable angst that she had had been experiencing for some time.  

The resulting confusion transcended all other thoughts in an attempt to penetrate the thick layer of defense protecting the logic and rational thinking needed to formulate a simple conclusion necessary to deal with difficult situations, but it could not get through. A seemingly simple logical conclusion to what had occurred, yet a metaphysical conclusion of which there was none. Factual, formulated reasons were more than obvious and had been answered as to why. Yet were insufficient to subdue the existential crisis which now existed. Drowning in a sea of abstract nonsensical thought with nothing more than mind pictures flashing memories of faces and places past, attempting to search the database of conscious recollections in order to find an answer, yet seemingly accomplishing no more than memories of that which is no more.

The unconscious almost catatonic state created in an instant by traumatic grief is broken as suddenly as it arrived and a return to consciousness when what her mind mistakenly perceives as a dangerous situation, provides her psyche the opportunity to cleanse the guilt, quell the pain and return her to the state of bliss and euphoria she once knew and craved so longingly for.  She had not felt such comfort since her universe had been destroyed in a fleeting moment of distraction that when refocused on what was once two had become one. She instinctively took control of the young defenseless being, rescuing it from a certain disaster as she had so destructively witnessed once before. As she casually walked down the railway boardwalk wheeling the young one to safety  with the indisputable knowledge that she had saved a life and claimed it as her own, undertaking and accepting all future responsibility. All was right with the world now there has been a new beginning and order had been restored, without memories, without pain, without regret.

This was a story written as an assignment to coincide with the above photo.